As a yearlong resident of Switzerland, I figured I should partake in the national pastime, so New Years weekend, my family and I drove to Crans-Montana, a small skiing town nestled in the heart of the Alps. We were staying at a small convent, managed in part by Philippe's aunt, Sister Emmanuel, a cheerful woman in her early eighties, who, yes, was still an avid skier. I'll admit, upon arrival, I felt relatively confident with my untested abilities - I'd been skiing twice before and had seemed to remember the basic principles of balance that I had learned during my toddlerhood in Wyoming. A few weeks earlier, I had even successfully navigated a small backyard jump built by Alain and Simon next to the house. Thus, in a moment of fatal hubris, I was fairly certain I could handle myself on the slopes, and even anticipated impressing my family with my mysterious capacity for the sport. But only a series of slapstick falls awaited my pride and my body on the pistes.
We set off down a short but steep hill, to the small plateau that signaled the start of the runs. Though I remained miraculously standing, I was quickly jolted from my delusions of competency. Carving, a technique I had initially deemed the alpine equivalent of bowling effects (uselessly flashy and unnecessarily difficult), was, in fact, imperative to my survival. The first slope we tried was a red* (the slope to be used for the 2010 Women's World Championships), and I managed to accumulate respectable tally of ten or so falls before the run leveled out. Though the morning progressed, I did not, and continued my sporadic bursts of speed punctuated by acrobatic manoeuvres and spectacular falls. By lunchtime, I was already exhausted enough for three days worth of skiing. We took a quick break to eat lunch with Philippe's aunt, but then it was right back to the slopes. The weather, however, had transformed from a slight drizzle to a blinding sleet, stinging my face and caking my glasses with ice that rendered the slopes entirely invisible, save for several amorphous black forms I suspect may have been skiers. Yet somehow my loss of vision seemed to augment my skiing ability. Perhaps it was the practice finally kicking in, or maybe my inability to see what lay ahead prevented me from subconsciously sabotaging myself to prevent a more serious fall, but in a terrifying feat worthy of Daredevil or Ray Charles, I survived the descent, with less than half the chutes of any of the first few runs.
The next day, we woke up in time for breakfast at seven o'clock. I'd figured the first day would be the hardest, but five minutes into the second, in a paralyzing haze of bruise and lactic acid induced pain, I realized, as did Stanley, that the second hole's the hardest. Dragging myself straight-legged out of bed and into my clothes, I coaxed and coerced my aching feet into my ski boots, and hobbled down the four flights of stairs. Despite my relative paralysis, out on the slopes, I seemed to have retained what I had learned the day before. My falls grew fewer and further between, and I began to develop a relatively effective, though entirely ungraceful carving technique. Unfortunately, my newfound balance found no counterpart in control, resulting in a barrage of wild and volatile dashes down the crowded slopes, accompanied by a violent stream of curses in every language that I knew. After several collisions (one with a toddler - and his very angry mother) and dozens of crashes, I finally began to learn to stop on a slope, and to master the controlled fall. Before long, I ceased to be a liability to the park and a danger to my fellow skiers, and started to actually enjoy the experience, finishing out the trip in a level of relative competency.
Last Sunday, we left for Lac Noir (Schwarzsee) a small mountain town in the German-speaking Fribourgeois Prealpes for a day-long ski outing. I half-suspected myself to have forgotten what I had learned at Crans-Montana, and spend most of the day floundering skillessly around, but remarkably, I comported myself more effectively than I had when we left, falling a single time the whole day.
One of the most satisfying parts of the day, however, was the brief conversations I had in periods I spent on the tire-fesse (literally: butt-puller). Alain had gone to ski with his friends, leaving me with no pre-ordained partner for the quick ascent, so each time we returned to the summit, I was paired with a stranger. In America, a situation such as this one would generally merit an awkward silence and a few flash smiles, but these Swiss, perhaps slightly less xenophobic and self-conscious than the average American, were quick to strike up a conversation with me, despite the language barrier. And I even managed to hold my own, discussing with one man his obscure hobby of paragliding, without missing the slightest vocabulary word. One of my three partners was Swiss-German, so we chatted in English, but nevertheless, I can now state officially that I know enough French to fluidly converse with a stranger.
*In Switzerland, the difficulty of slopes from easiest to hardest is as follows: pink, green, blue, red, black. Fortunately for experienced skiers like Alain, Simon, and Phillipe, there were plenty of reds and blacks to keep them occupied. Unfortunately for me, there wasn't much else.



